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Sarah. Nineteen. In College. Clarion Univ. PA. Boyfriend. In Love. Hottness. Clever. Witty. Trouble. Good Time.
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These are my words. My life chillaxin' in webspace. Feel free to read, feel free to not. That's about it when it comes to a disclaimer. Over it! Haha.
I'm not a drug addict but boy do I seem to have a lot of downers around me.
...written on 2006-06-04, at 8:23 p.m.
Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!
Okay, now that I've got that out of my system I can write an entry.
Last night my mother and I took the dog, Pepper, that pissed all through our house to the Humane Society. Then we went to the RoadHouse in Clarion, which we really shouldn't have went to because my mom has no money. She's been dropping money like it's hot for the last year almost and she needs to stop. She's getting herself in debt as well as the rest of our family (like my Grandma Betty because she's borrowing money from everyone, even when they don't have it). It really bothers me that she does things like this... which I completely spilled to my Aunt LaRaine and Uncle Bill over at there house last night over Kaluhua and Vodka.
Yeah, that's right, I got drunk over at my Aunt and Uncle's house. I've been really stressed lately because of coming home and all of the drama around my mom and getting drunk and just spilling everything and being silly with my cousins was exactly what I needed.
I don't like the things my mom has been doing. She's not been being a mother at all. She doesn't cook or clean or talk to us at all except to yell or tell me about her latest man.
She goes on the internet a lot since I left for school and she's been driving all over the state meeting these guys, random guys, and putting out for them. It's ridiculous. She doesn't pay the bills on time because she doesn't have the money and yet she'll have enough money for gas and new clothes. It makes me sick to think about it.
But basically when she's not at work or out with these random guys she's online talking to these random guys. I'm so bothered when I think about it.
I miss Richard too. When he's not here he's not very good at talking to me. He's a busy guy, he's always ready to do something else. That's how I am too but when I talk to him I completely seclude myself as long as I can. I want my attention to be complately on him and I expect the same.
I don't always get that though.
It can start a lot of fights too... which makes it hard for me to confront him about it. I hate bothering him. I hate feeling like I'm second and I hate feeling like it's not worth his time to talk to me.
Ugh. I don't know what else to talk about. I'm bored. And kind of tired. I miss Richard. This is all one big downer.
Sarah