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Sarah. Nineteen. In College. Clarion Univ. PA. Boyfriend. In Love. Hottness. Clever. Witty. Trouble. Good Time.
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These are my words. My life chillaxin' in webspace. Feel free to read, feel free to not. That's about it when it comes to a disclaimer. Over it! Haha.
I wasn't much into Nirvana. I like the Foo Fighters though.
...written on 2006-06-16, at 1:09 a.m.
I don't want to end up like the lyrics of some over played song.
I don't want to be the person wondering why they gave up something so pure and good to get hurt and hurt over and over again.
"I'm getting tired of starting again, somewhere new."
I wish that I had had more time to fuck off before Richard. That way I would have been able to appreciate it more thoroughly without a wandering eye and a wandering mind.
There are so many what-if's that just float through my mind. Back and forth, up and down and it's too much sometimes.
The ups and downs and back and forth's get worse when he and I arguing, too. Which is kind of good and kind of bad. If I have a male wandering around me, wanting my attention that's exactly what I give them. I ignore Richard and our problems and I head right for this guy who oogles me.
In a lot of ways it makes me more secure in our love and relationship. But in other ways it strains it more because Richard thinks I'm messing around on him, or I'm going to after we're good again.
This is all coming from the fact that for the last few days Richard has been nearly ignoring me. We haven't had a good conversation in at least four days and when I call him he's been either "really busy" with something stupid like a video game or we talk for five minutes and he falls asleep.
This, in turn, makes me want to run to a different guy for the attention I need. I could be getting it from Trevor if he weren't a damn workaholic but since he's not an option I'm left here pondering.
Blargh.
I hate this. Why is Richard an ass sometimes. Why does he have the tendancy to forget that he has a responsibility toward me. Being a boyfriend or a girlfriend is a full time job. There are certain duties that need to be fulfilled. I need attention. I need a conversation here and there. When I don't get what I need, I get very upset.
Damn it. I'm so bothered.
Sarah