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The Girl
Sarah. Nineteen. In College. Clarion Univ. PA. Boyfriend. In Love. Hottness. Clever. Witty. Trouble. Good Time.
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Disclaimer
These are my words. My life chillaxin' in webspace. Feel free to read, feel free to not. That's about it when it comes to a disclaimer. Over it! Haha.
Relate it to us, relate it to me. I cried while writing this.
...written on 2006-10-18, at 8:17 p.m.
Step one, you say we need to talk.
He walks, you say sit down it's just a talk.
He avoided me for so long... it was hard to try and talk to him. I had to go to his room, late at night, when he wouldn't leave to have this talk.
He smiles politely back at you,
You stare politely right on through. Some sort of window to your right.
I had a hard time looking him in the eye, he had a hard time looking at me. Even when he was looking right at me, I wasn't looking him in the eye. I couldn't.
As he goes left and you stay right.
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came.
He wouldn't say anything until I went to leave. Then, suddenly, he responded to my obvious anger... and he let everything out. We'd lost track of each other between those lines of fear and blame, who we were, what good friends we'd been... I blamed him for it all. I felt stupid and used and he just kept walking on by, blaming me for all of his problems. I was afraid of everything at that point. I wanted things to settle. I wanted to feel okay, I was so afraid that it never would be.
(Chorus)
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.
He was angry, I was angry. I hated it all... and he hated me.
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I know how to save a life.
That night... I would have rather stayed up all night talking, trying to make us better.. than making that terrible mistake... allowing you to take advantage of me, allowing myself to be pressured.. That night is the only thing I regret in my entire life... and I say that with all the sincereity in my soul. I believe that as long as I live, that will be my worst mistake and my only regret.
Let him know that you know best
Cuz after all, you do know best.
I knew we were falling apart... he didn't... and he didn't care. He just kept giving me excuses..
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence.
I was never able to let his defenses slip past... but I don't grant innocence, because he's not innocent.. his actions afterward were not innocent.
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along.
And pray to God he hears you.
When I told Josh how hurt I was... he didn't listen to me. He didn't hear me.
(Chorus)
As he begins to raise his voice,
You lower yours and grant him one last choice.
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed.
I was so patient and I allowed him to talk... I just kept my mouth shut and prayed he'd understood me.
He will do one of two things.
He will admit to everything,
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came.
He say'd he just wasn't the same... and I moved on, wondering why I had been so stupid as to try and talk to him, to help him understand.. and I walked away.
(Chorus)
But now he's coming back...