Links
richard
facebook
myspace
h.s.runner
The Girl
Sarah. Nineteen. In College. Clarion Univ. PA. Boyfriend. In Love. Hottness. Clever. Witty. Trouble. Good Time.
Smiles
Frowns
Disclaimer
These are my words. My life chillaxin' in webspace. Feel free to read, feel free to not. That's about it when it comes to a disclaimer. Over it! Haha.
The reason why I burst and why I bloom.
...written on 2006-08-31, at 11:58 p.m.
I can't deal with the drama of Josh (college Josh). He's insane. He's just trying to get some left and right and it's not cool. He doesn't hang out with me at all, he barely talks to me. He's just trying to get laid and he doesn't think about anything else until he gets some and then all he can think about and work toward is getting more. It's not cool at all and it really bothers me a lot.
He even got some from me. Yeah. I had sex with Josh. That's all. We didn't even kiss. It was a terrible experience and in many, many ways I regret it but Im dealing with it and learning to accept it. I've learned now not to trust just anyone, and also not to allow myself to be peer pressured into doing things that I know aren't right.
In many ways I was raped by Josh. He took an innocent game we used to play and kept pushing me until he got exactly what he wanted. Since we've been to college he's been this asshole who only focuses on getting ass from any girl he can. It really pisses me off that he completely used me and still barely gives me the time of day.
Like, he hangs out with people he barely knows more than he even talks to me. He's said a maximum or thirty words to me today and last year we used to spend hours and hours together.
It's so hard now.
Im learning to accept that he's an asshole though.
On a lighter note, Im starting to appreciate Richard again. It's really cool to be able to talk to him and just talk. It's making me fall for him again. He says he's going to come up this weekend and hang out with me and make me feel better. I'm excited and I hope everything works out. I love him.. I want to talk to him right now.. so Im going to check out what's going on with my classes and then Im going to call him.
Hopefully he's awake and able to talk. If not.. I'll just have to wait until tomorrow.
Sarah