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Sarah. Nineteen. In College. Clarion Univ. PA. Boyfriend. In Love. Hottness. Clever. Witty. Trouble. Good Time.
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These are my words. My life chillaxin' in webspace. Feel free to read, feel free to not. That's about it when it comes to a disclaimer. Over it! Haha.
Ready... set.... GO!
...written on 2006-08-07, at 6:14 p.m.
So, last night Richard and I barely talked. I've been thinking a lot about just not talking to him, avoiding him because maybe, just maybe, it would be a little less tramatic and a little more easy.
Well... I dont know about that now. But then again, I dont know about anything right now.
Today was a tramtic day. Elizabeth had to be taken into the doctors office today for her pre-school shots. Well, to put it simply... she freaked. It took three nurses and myself to hold her down because she's crazy. I think she's terrified of needles but whatever her reason for doing it.. it was tramatic for me and it made me on edge the rest fo the day.
So when I got home at like, 11am, and got online I started talking to people, one of which was Richard and we ended up fighting over some really stupid stuff.
I was bawling when it was all done and unable to keep from shaking I was so stressed. It was bad. He was shouting at me, I was shouting at him... and it just felt hopeless to keep talking to him so I told him I was going to delete all of this numbers out of my cell phone (which I did) and we should stop talking. So he hung up on me.
Then after about twenty more minutes of me crying I called him back and tried telling him I didnt want to end on bad notes... but he was getting it so I flat out told him that there was no way we'd ever get back together, ever again so he could just stop trying if he was.
He hung up on me after that. When I called him back I could tell he'd been crying and really all I wanted to do was freakin' cuddle with him. He's so good at being a safety blanket sometimes.
And this time he was. After another half hour of talking he had me laughing and smiling... after another hour, in which he told me his "favorite things" about me I was feeling really good.. and really happy.
I wanted to get back with him. And I told him that I was thinking it. But I also told him that I knew better...
So he told me he'd understand if I needed to slow into things and if it took me months before he had become the responsible person I needed, he would wait.
He also told me he'd want to see me when I went back to school.
I know... this is all so crazy.
But I needed him today...
And he was there.
It's a start, right?