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The Girl
Sarah. Nineteen. In College. Clarion Univ. PA. Boyfriend. In Love. Hottness. Clever. Witty. Trouble. Good Time.
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These are my words. My life chillaxin' in webspace. Feel free to read, feel free to not. That's about it when it comes to a disclaimer. Over it! Haha.
I don't understand the male gender.
...written on 2006-08-07, at 12:07 a.m.
I don't understand what's going on in my love life right now.
Part of me knows I'm an idiot for even thinking about him.
But the other part of me keeps my brain occupied with him and what could be or well... could have been.
Last night he called me really late. I woke up to him telling me he wasn't coming up this week, something I accepted over a week ago, when he still told me he was coming. But in the next breath he told me that his week of vacation was going to be all about me. When I asked him what he meant he told me I'd see.
I don't know what he's plotting or what he's going to do. He's never been good at secrets but I think this one he'll be able to keep and I don't know why.
Im not getting my hopes up though. I don't want to let myself fall for him again. Im working on not missing him every second and I don't need another let down.
Whatever he does it up to him. We'll just have to wait and see.
After that I remember him telling me I was going to be a part of his life and that I would someday be his wife. I told him I was confused and he told me that's what he wanted. That's how I was going to be the rest of the week.
I'd be confused, wondering what made this time different. Why he changed now.
Again... I dont get my hopes up.
I have faith in him. I know he could do anything he set his mind to.. I just doubt, with his track record, that anything he's putting his mind ot has anything to do with me.
I feel like crying now.
It's so tragic.